


Breathe With Me

by rowdyhooligan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Language, Panic Attacks, Vaginal Sex, grace!kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 10:40:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12555628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowdyhooligan/pseuds/rowdyhooligan
Summary: Gadreel finds the reader in the middle of an anxiety attack and helps her through it.





	Breathe With Me

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted from tumblr

“Beloved?” Gadreel’s voice echoed down the hall.

You wanted to answer him, really you did. But no matter how hard you tried, the words died in your throat, only a choked sob leaving your lips. The vice around your chest squeezed tighter as nausea rolled in your belly. The attack had come on suddenly while you were folding the laundry, the onslaught of anxiety leaving you shaking. Hearing him call for you again, tears slipped down your flushed and clammy face as you tried desperately to respond. Giving it up as a lost cause, you prayed to him instead, kicking yourself for not having thought of it sooner.

He was by your side in an instant, worry and fear etched on his face when he saw the state you were in. Doubled over, trying your hardest to suck in enough air, you tried to focus on him, but it was too difficult to see through your tears. His arms went around you, pulling you to him, and with the flutter of wings you were back in the room you shared with your angel. He sat down on the bed with you still in his arms, clinging to him and shaking uncontrollably. Working one of your hands free, he took it in his own, imploring you to speak. “My dearest, what has happened? Please beloved, tell me what’s wrong?”

You shook your head, not really refusing to speak, but trying to indicate that you couldn’t. The panic welling inside was too much to handle and all you could do was bury your face in his chest and ride it out. Gadreel seemed to realize this and remained silent. He cradled you to him as if you were made of glass, his touch gentle as he ran a soothing hand up and down your back.

Your heart pounded against your chest, fluttering so hard and fast you were certain Gadreel could feel it. You fought for every breath, hating yourself for appearing weak in front of him. You’d never told anyone about your attacks before, preferring to deal with them on your own. It had been quite some time since the last one, before you and Gadreel had met and gotten together. You hated looking vulnerable in front of anyone, but most especially him.

“My light, you must breathe. Here, do as I do, breathe with me.” He pressed the hand he held against his chest and loosened the one clutching at his hoodie, holding your palms flat against his chest, covering them with his own. Your hands rose and fell with each deep inhale, and you forced your frantic mind to focus on the steady rhythm. Up and down, inhale and exhale.

The thump of his heart against your palms was soothing. Doing your best to match his steady breaths, you inhaled shakily. Each one got a little easier, the clamp around your chest loosening bit by bit. The heat left your face gradually, leaving you in a cold sweat. Gadreel continued to hold you, simply breathing with you, for you. Feeling his warm strength surrounding you did just as much to soothe the panic and anxiousness as the breathing exercise did.

You didn’t know how much time had passed while the two of you sat on the edge of your bed. Eventually, your racing pulse began to slow, and it wasn’t as much of a struggle to breathe. Cramped limbs let you know that you’d been curled in one position for far too long, and you eased out of your tight ball in Gadreel’s lap. He let you stretch your aching legs, but didn’t release you entirely. He held your hands to his chest, letting you ground yourself back in reality, his heartbeat acting as your anchor.

Only when you were able to breathe easily, and the nausea and trembling had passed did he let you go, easing you next to him on top of the comforter. You avoided his eyes, shame and embarrassment welling up in you now that the anxiety attack had passed. You wiped at your sweaty forehead, waiting for him to say something.

Gadreel sighed, taking both of your hands between his. “My love, what happened? I’ve never seen you in such a state before.”

“That’s because I never wanted you to,” you mumbled.

“Why not dear one?” He sounded genuinely confused at your response.

“Because Gad, I hate feeling like this, so- so-  _weak_ ,” you spat out. “I hate having anxiety, and I hate when it gets to me like that. I don’t even know what set it off this time! What kind of weakling starts panicking over literally  _nothing_?!”

“My love,” he said firmly, “you are not weak. You are one of the strongest beings I have ever known.” His tone left no room for argument.

You merely shrugged, not really believing what he was saying. Gadreel cupped your jaw with one hand, raising your gaze to meet his own. His love for you shone in his eyes, as did his ferocity and determination to help you. “You. Are not. Weak.”

“But-,” you began, only to be cut off.

“No, my dearest, no buts. You aren’t weak. This condition is not weakness. You live a harsh life; that is bound to take its toll. The struggles you face- I envy your strength at times. You have taught me so much of human endurance. That is not weak.”

“Gad, I literally couldn’t breathe for myself.”

“Then I shall breathe for you, as today,” he answered sternly. “You needn’t suffer in silence my love. I will always be here when you need me, I shall always come when you call. Whenever you find yourself in such a state again, pray to me and I shall be by your side in a moment. Nothing is more important to me than you.”

“Gad,” you murmured softly, touched beyond words. It meant the world to you that he had seen you at your worst, and vowed to stay by your side regardless.

Gripping onto your hands, he brought each up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to each of your palms. You went willingly when he pulled you close, straddling his lap. He leaned forward for another kiss, meeting you halfway. You sighed against him, savoring the safety and comfort his presence provided. Before long, the kiss had deepened, each of you moving against each other in an old, familiar rhythm.

You sucked his bottom lip between yours, nipping at it lightly. Gadreel moaned into your mouth, his hands releasing yours to slide under your shirt. He traced light patterns against your skin, his calloused fingertips tickling you slightly. Ever the gentleman, he didn’t try anything more, content simply to hold you. However, you quickly grew impatient. Anytime you had an attack, you felt the need immediately afterward to move around, to prove you weren’t as weak and helpless as the anxiety made you feel.

Urging Gadreel to lay down, you plastered yourself to his front, kissing him harder. He caught on quickly, moving his hands up to cup your breasts through your bra. You arched into his touch, sighing as he fondled you. Eager to feel his skin against yours, you tugged at his clothes, lifting his shirt up enough to expose his stomach. You ran your hands along the ridges of his muscles, scraping your nails against him. He huffed into the kiss, your light touch tickling him. As tempted as you were to tickle him again, you had other plans for your angel.

You brushed your thumbs across his nipples, pulling a groan from him as you toyed with them. You did it again, feeling the sounds he made reverberate in your chest. His hands wandered to your back, unclasping your bra with the ease of practice. You pulled away briefly, just long enough to tug your shirt and bra off, tossing them to the floor. Gadreel stared at your now topless figure figure like you were Paradise incarnate. There was no room to feel shy or weak when he eyed you so hungrily.

Needing to see him bare beneath you, you leaned forward to pull the hem of his shirt even higher. Gadreel obliged, lifting up off of the bed enough to allow you room to get his top off. Flinging that aside, you took in every inch of freckled skin on display. He practically glowed in the dim light of your room, all firm muscle and golden skin. It was hard to believe that this stunning man, this beautiful angel was yours, that he wanted to be with you and stay by your side.

In a rare sign of impatience, Gadreel reached up to cup the back of your neck, bringing you down for a fierce kiss. You opened for him when he ran his tongue along the seam of your lips, welcoming him into your mouth with a moan. The taste of him flooded you, leaving you craving more. The kiss went on, growing in passion. His rigid length dug into the soft flesh of your ass, pressing firmly against you. Your hips began to rock against him of their own accord, your core growing slick with need.

The first caress of his grace against you caught you off guard. You tried to jerk away, but he still held you firmly by the neck, not allowing you to move. Grace danced along your skin, finding all the places he knew would make you moan. Ribbons of grace toyed with your breasts, groping and pinching at the nipples just right. In no time at all, he was pulling obscene sounds from you; the room filled with soft whimpers, desperate whines, needy moans.

Gadreel brought his free hand up to one, running his thumb along the soft underside of your tit. You chased the sensation as much as you could. He finally broke the kiss, panting out, “You are so beautiful, my love. Every part of you fills me with need. Seeing you like this, sprawled out on top of me, is a sight I shall never tire of.”

“The view’s not too bad from where I’m at either,” you replied, grinning down at him.

He returned your smile, a mischievous look in his eyes.  With a flex of his grace, he willed away the rest of your clothing, along with his. Suddenly, your lower half was as naked as the top, your center pressed directly against his abdomen.You gasped as a thick tendril of grace thrust into you, filling so quickly the air whooshed out of your lungs. Not expecting the abrupt intrusion, you jolted on top of him, head falling back as he pleasured you.

Gadreel’s eyes glinted as he fucked into you slowly, dragging his grace along your inner walls. “Gorgeous,” he whispered breathlessly. “You take me so well, my light. So wanton and aching for me. Flawless creature.”

He never went any faster or harder, maintaining a slow, steady rhythm. His hands stroked down your sides as grace continued to play with your nipples. Mewling needily, you squirmed on top of him, needing more- more pressure, more speed, more something. Gadreel ignored your efforts, refusing to be rushed in his worship of you. He could, and had, spent entire evenings do nothing but working you up until you were nearly sobbing with frustration. It was enough to drive you mad.

Luckily for you, he didn’t seem to be inclined to tease you quite that much today. His eyes bore into yours like he was staring at your very soul- which was a distinct possibility. His pupils were blown so wide only a thin ring of green remained, lust and adoration burning in his gaze. He gripped tight onto your hips, lifting you up as he withdrew his grace from your channel. Thrilled to finally have him inside you, you reached between your bodies to line his cock up with your entrance, hissing in delight when he lowered you down onto it.

You relished every delicious inch of him, moaning out his name as you sank down on his cock. The stretch of him inside you was a feeling you could never get enough of. Once your hips were flush against his you paused, drawing in a shaky breath as you adjusted to the hot weight of him filling you so completely. Gadreel didn’t try to rush you, rubbing calming circles on your hips with his thumbs, murmuring your name like a prayer. His grace surrounded you, cradling your body in a gentle hold.

When you finally adjusted to him, you rocked your hips, gasping as his cock rubbed along your channel walls, hitting all the right places. Using his hold on your hips, Gadreel controlled your speed, never allowing you to go too fast. You would have protested, but the feeling of finally having him in you wiped any other thoughts from your mind. Your hands held tight to his shoulders, using the grip as leverage to meet his thrusts. If he felt the prick of your nails digging into your skin, he gave no indication, driving into you over and over again.

Your breasts bounced with every thrust, grace still pulling and tugging at your nipples with every jolt. You loved when he used his grace on you, almost as much as he loved using it on you. This was the real Gadreel, not a vessel but the actual angel of the Lord. He’d watched as the universe was formed, once guarded the garden of Eden, seen and experienced so much, yet here he was now- sprawled out beneath you and bringing you pleasure like you’d never experienced before.

His graced touched you in a hundred places at once, leaving no inch of skin unexplored. A hundred hands caressed and stroked you, stoking the fire in your belly higher and higher. You were done for the moment he used his grace to latch onto your clit, suckling at the swollen nub with vigor. It was the last push you needed; your orgasm washed over you in undulating waves, pulling you under, drowning you in pleasure.

Gadreel groaned out your name, a string of Enochian leaving his lips as your pussy clenched down around him. Feeling your walls contracting around his cock proved to be too much, and he followed you over the edge. Thick ropes of hot come filled you, drenching your cunt in his essence. He continued thrusting into you, milking your climax and his for all they were worth. The overstimulation was enough to trigger aftershocks through your sensitive pussy and you swore you heard the heavens sing as he wrung out every last ounce of pleasure from your overworked body.

You let out a whine when it got to be too much, and he slowed his rhythm to a stop. You slumped down over his heaving chest, heart racing and thighs burning from exertion. Another whine escaped when his softening cock slipped out of your soaked core, your combined release dripping out of your slit and onto his thighs. Sweat coated your bodies, but you couldn’t find it in you to care when he released his hold on your hips and wrapped his arms around your back to hold you close. He withdrew his grace from you, but not before sweeping over you to heal your throbbing muscles, as well as clean up the mess between your legs.

Sighing in satisfaction, you were content to remain just like that, stretched out on top of him like a lazy cat. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry for you to move either, his hands rubbing soothingly over your back. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. He pressed his lips to your forehead, not quite a kiss, just relishing the feel of your skin against his. You could hear him murmuring to himself in Enochian; you didn’t know much of the angelic language, only managing to make out your name.

Eventually, he rolled to the side, keeping his arms around you and taking you with him. You didn’t protest the sudden movement, far too sleepy and sated to do much more than yawn. Your heavy eyelids slid shut, but before you could drift off, Gadreel jostled your shoulders gently to get your attention. Turning sleepy eyes toward him, you raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Beloved, I hope that you know I meant every word before: I shall always be by your side should you allow it. Every time you stumble, I will be there to help you rise.”

“Are you sure you want to promise that, angel?” you questioned, “I can tell you now I’m gonna stumble a lot.”

“And I shall be there every time to help you to your feet again.”


End file.
